New Oven - with added Ow!

I got my new oven installed today! It's all shiny and clean, and I don't want to use it coz I know that in a month or three, I'll have to clean it and I can't be fucked doing that. But I really REALLY want roast pork omfg yum! :drools:

As usual though, there were dramas.

First off - "Where's your fuse box?" says the electrician. Well, it's in my bedroom, isn't it? Is my bedroom clean? Of course. Not. He wants to go in and look at the fusebox. I nearly had a fit. After a lot of humming and haahing, and finding out that all he wanted was to make sure the oven fuse was off, I told him that it was (it's been off ever since my oven did do a boom) and he got started on the job.

Then we have to get the new oven into the house. That's not so bad. Only - I'm not meant to lift am I? Well, I had no choice, so here's me on the other end, lifting the oven. We go out to the garage and start carrying the oven in when my shoulder nearly gave out - lucky he had good reflexes because if he didn't, the oven would've gone crash bang boom and landed on the bonnet of The Bus. (That's my car if anyone didn't know).

So now, the oven is inside the house, and things start rolling. The old oven gets pulled out, the new one gets taken out of it's shiny wrapping, everything's moving along smoothly. He wires it up, he lifts it, he slides it into the special oven hole. Then he strokes his chin and says "Hmm.."

I hate when people do that. No seriously, it's fucking annoying. It's like when my mum cracks the shits and starts huffing and puffing at me. You know that stressed out sharp exhale sighing noise? Yeah. It's that annoying.

So, me being the genius that I am asks the $64million dollar question - "Uh.. is something wrong?"

The oven is the right width.

The oven is the right height.

The oven is too long for the hole.

He hums and haa's for a little bit, pulls the oven out, puts it back in, pulls it out again, puts it back in - it's like a drunken night of oven sex - you know where it's gotta go, and you know how to get it in, you just don't know how to get it in the hole properly.

"If you put it in, and fasten the screws, will the oven fall out?" is my next brilliant question.

Apparently, no, it won't. So I said not to worry, just screw it in and all will be well. I mean, it's not really THAT noticeable, it's only sticking out half a centimetre or something, so what's the drama?

Time to take the old oven out, I'm back on one end, he's on the other. He asks if I'm ready to lift and I say yes, but wait! I'm holding the front end of the oven. I ask if it'll be okay fearing the door will open and suggest maybe sticky taping the door shut. "Nah, tis fine - the doors are springloaded, they don't open by themselves!" he says.

What a giant crock of fucking shit. No sooner had we lifted the oven to a 45 degree angle, than all of the shelving and grill trays and whatnot that were inside of the oven came spilling out of the springloaded, unopenable doors.

Straight onto my bare feet.

Boy Wonder the Electrician says "Wow, I've never seen an oven do that" looking completely and utterly amazed. Up til that point, I was ready to invite him back in for a coffee or cold drink coz he'd worked so hard installing my oven. I quickly changed my mind.

WHAT THE FUCK? DIDN'T I JUST SAY THE OVEN WAS GONNA OPEN? GRAVITY, PEOPLE, IS NOT OUR FRIEND. Isn't it natural to assume that something that opens downwards, will, with gravity, open if it is faced downwards?

Springloaded my big fat ass.

We got the sticky tape, taped the door shut, got the oven out into the garage (without hitting The Bus) and I sent him on his way.

I swear, if there's no drama attached, it's not happening at my place.