..but then again, most of my posts usually are.
Tonight was my future sister-in-law's hens night. A night where we're meant to go out, drink lots, have fun, and generally make idiots of ourselves. Right? Right.
You know how everyone (and, I do mean everyone) has a whole bunch of awesome friends... and then one dickhead friend who's guaranteed to fuck shit up? Well, tonight I got to meet the dickhead friend. Let's call her Renee, coz that's her name. Absolutely everything she did annoyed me. I'd like to think that I'm fairly easy going, and I can get along with anyone. But no. Not tonite. Good fucking lord, I swear, if we'd stayed out any longer, I would've been locked up for some sort of criminal act against her. Keep in mind, I've never ever met this person before, and there's the list of things she did that made me want to punch her square in the face. But then, she came up with this fucking gem in the cab on the way home:
"Is there a maccas near your place? I feel like maccas.." (we pointed out that we'd already been to maccas, and Bree (my sis in law) had food at her place, so she could eat there..) "no, really, I feel like maccas.. it's okay, I'll just drive there when we get home." Now, that statement, in itself, is a fairly innocent statement to make. But not when you've been out, drinking, and are entirely shitfaced. I told her, in no uncertain terms, exactly what I thought of her (I believe my exact words were "You drank more than the rest of us combined, are you fucking retarded? You're an adult, be responsible for fucks sake") She then followed it up with "Oh, it's okay, I'll go by myself that way I'm not endangering anyone else."
No. Really. No one else is on the fucking roads at 2am. You're going to be the only fucking driver IN THE WHOLE WORLD who's going to drive at this time of night on a saturday, not.
We could not, for the life of us, make her see that her reasoning of "i'll go by myself so if i crash no one will get hurt" was entirely fucked up.
So, to you Renee, when you write your fucking car off coz no one's around to give a fuck, and kill a family of 5 who are on their way home from church or something, don't come fucking crying to me that you didn't think anything would happen because you were being responsible by going by yourself. Because, more than likely, I'll stab you in the face with the fucking stiletto heel that you nearly pierced my foot with when you were dancing and looking like you'd just fucking thrown a toaster in your bath.
I'd just like to add that Bree has taken Renee's keys away from her (my insistance) and she's not to get them until late tomorrow afternoon when she's at least going to (hopefully) have most of the alcohol out of her system.
I hope this cunt gets the hangover from hell and her eyeballs fucking explode into her brain.
Tonight was my future sister-in-law's hens night. A night where we're meant to go out, drink lots, have fun, and generally make idiots of ourselves. Right? Right.
You know how everyone (and, I do mean everyone) has a whole bunch of awesome friends... and then one dickhead friend who's guaranteed to fuck shit up? Well, tonight I got to meet the dickhead friend. Let's call her Renee, coz that's her name. Absolutely everything she did annoyed me. I'd like to think that I'm fairly easy going, and I can get along with anyone. But no. Not tonite. Good fucking lord, I swear, if we'd stayed out any longer, I would've been locked up for some sort of criminal act against her. Keep in mind, I've never ever met this person before, and there's the list of things she did that made me want to punch her square in the face. But then, she came up with this fucking gem in the cab on the way home:
"Is there a maccas near your place? I feel like maccas.." (we pointed out that we'd already been to maccas, and Bree (my sis in law) had food at her place, so she could eat there..) "no, really, I feel like maccas.. it's okay, I'll just drive there when we get home." Now, that statement, in itself, is a fairly innocent statement to make. But not when you've been out, drinking, and are entirely shitfaced. I told her, in no uncertain terms, exactly what I thought of her (I believe my exact words were "You drank more than the rest of us combined, are you fucking retarded? You're an adult, be responsible for fucks sake") She then followed it up with "Oh, it's okay, I'll go by myself that way I'm not endangering anyone else."
No. Really. No one else is on the fucking roads at 2am. You're going to be the only fucking driver IN THE WHOLE WORLD who's going to drive at this time of night on a saturday, not.
We could not, for the life of us, make her see that her reasoning of "i'll go by myself so if i crash no one will get hurt" was entirely fucked up.
So, to you Renee, when you write your fucking car off coz no one's around to give a fuck, and kill a family of 5 who are on their way home from church or something, don't come fucking crying to me that you didn't think anything would happen because you were being responsible by going by yourself. Because, more than likely, I'll stab you in the face with the fucking stiletto heel that you nearly pierced my foot with when you were dancing and looking like you'd just fucking thrown a toaster in your bath.
I'd just like to add that Bree has taken Renee's keys away from her (my insistance) and she's not to get them until late tomorrow afternoon when she's at least going to (hopefully) have most of the alcohol out of her system.
I hope this cunt gets the hangover from hell and her eyeballs fucking explode into her brain.
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