I done did do a learn!

As we grow and develop, we learn many new things. How to walk, talk, feed ourselves, how to run, jump, hop and skip, and not fall flat on our heads (okay, some of us learnt this, I'm still learning this)

The past fortnight has been a learning experience for me. There's been lots of new things learnt, but these are the most important lessons I have been able to be a part of recently -

Things that I have learnt: (in no particular order)

• When you grab your partners HOUSE keys instead of your own, and then stand on the doorstep for 10 minutes knocking to be let back in, finally give up and then call him on his mobile to let you in the house, expect him to laugh his ass off when you say to him "I grabbed your housekeys instead of mine, can you please let me.. nevermind, I have your housekeys, I can let myself in"
• Colombian Drug Lords are not talking about washing their wallets when they discuss laundering money. Your partner won't be happy when you do this exact same thing to his wallet (we're very lucky our money is made of plastic now) and then make bad money laundering jokes, especially after you've just washed his new weekly train ticket in the super wash cycle.
• It's not funny (even though you kind of think it is) when you find out during parent teacher interviews that your daughter's teacher had to move the entire class out of the classroom and to the gym, leaving your daughter in the room by herself, to complete their lesson because your child wouldn't leave the room for time out. You still have to punish her.
  
• Shortcuts are not real, especially during peak hour traffic. The emergency lane is NOT the place to try and sneak past traffic, especially when one of the cars in the outermost lane is a police car and happens to see you cruise by them at a cool 60kms an hour and chases you down. Even though you don't get a fine, you get into a lot of trouble and get a stern talking to. Mr Policeman does NOT believe that you ended up in that lane because you pulled over earlier to talk on your phone. They know this isn't true because you were three cars behind them when you pulled out into the emergency lane. Also, the excuse that "But School Holiday Program charges $1 a minute for each minute you're late after 6:30pm" at 4:50pm is not an acceptable excuse.