Gardening sucks..

Okay, so the flowers are nearly dead outside in their pots (thanks IGA for selling me dodgy plants.. yeah it's their fault not mine i didn't kill them.. serious!) but I bought more, and I'm keeping them inside for now just until they're ready to plant in my back yard.

Anyway, today I decided to go out and use my new $15 whipper snipper Bunnings Bargain.

I managed to kill it in under 5 minutes.

I rule!

In the 5 minutes it took me to kill my bargain snipper, I managed to lose the spring that makes the circle thing with the wire that cuts the bits and go bouncy bouncy, make the whole fucking bottom bit fall off and go skidding across the back yard, whack a couple of dozen weeds and clip my forehead with some flying shrapnel (I now have a nice big red welt on my forehead which EvilMe kissed better, but it's still sore).

I got my $15 dollars worth of backyard entertainment (heheh this thing is originally worth $90, I did pretty well).

And yes, I know that I've not updated all week and I've been slack. This would be because I've been working long shifts all week since just after the easter break. Starting at 10am and finishing at 8pm is not my fucking friend, let me tell you.

Which reminds me, I need to do my timesheet! Gah! (okay, I just opened the link for it, watch me forget to do it).

How many days has it been since I updated? 13? Yeah.. something like that.. hmm.. should I do a slideshow of 13 Daily Urbans for Jay? Yeah I probably should.. So here, my dear, is a fortnights of .. dum da daaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah

Jay's
Daily (erp.. a fortnight's worth of daily's at least..)
Urbannnnnnnnnn!

Jay's Home!

JayMum rang me just before to tell me that Jay did get home safe and sound and she's all okay. The meds the docs gave her are imaginary (ie: they don't work properly) but she sounds hilarious on the phone - she's losing her voice, and she sounds stoned. Yup. I had to laugh - the phone drama was the best. She can't hold a telephone, so she has to prop it up on her shoulder, it slid off her shoulder and the hilarity did ensue from there. I ended up getting off the phone as soon as they put me on speaker phone lol.

Anyway, I want to go to the grand prix. Everyone except me (and Jay of course..) is going. Janey has corporate tickets, Angie's going on Sunday too. Life sucks. My boyfriend doesn't understand formula one "What's the point of watching cars drive in circles?" GAHHHHHHHHHHHHHH DUDE OMG SERIOUS. It's not just coz they're driving round in circles, it's the atmosphere. Watching it on TV holds nothing against actually being there. Plus, the F14's.. the planes that go zoom! man I even missed out on the Blackhawk display this year :( I tried to watch it from the rooftop at work but yeah, I couldn't see shit for peanuts. So sad. so very very sad.

Anyway, I'm going to go see Jay tomorrow after work (I think I already said that for today lol) but I am going tomorrow arvo - and I'll be taking her the Golden Lab Teddy we got her, and a giant box of fereros. She better share or I'll smack her!!

Anyway, here's today's Jay's Daily Urban:

I can't stop singinggggggggggggggg I can't stop dancinggggggggggggg this song is so fucking awesome and I HATE UTZ UTZ so go figure.. Might have something to do with the omghotguyinthefluffyjacket yeah



The past few weeks have been hectic, but not. Go figure. B was at her nan's place for the first two weeks of the year, and now she's home and EvilMe is pretty much living here while he's on annual leave. I've been filling my days with looking for work and going to job interviews, and whilst all the agencies are like "OMFG YOU ARE SUPERTYPINGLADY! WE WANT YOU WE WANTYOUUUUUUUUUUU" they don't have work for me. I know I have a job coming up mid feb, but I NEED MONEY NOW not next month (well, I'll need it then too, but I need it right now also!)

Just for sahm coz she loves knowing how fast I type (this was from two days ago):

Numeric: 11004 ks/per hour
Alpha: 85wpm gross, 81wpm net (24584ks/per hour) (3 errors)
Alpha Numeric: 14580ks/ph

As you can see, I slow down lots whenever there's numbers. Yes, I get brag rights, but I'm also really proud of those numbers. Why? Because when I first started doing data entry 10 years ago (omfg! how many letters and numbers have I pushed in all of those years? I wonder hmmm..) I could only type a measly 24wpm.

I thank the internet for my OMG SUPER TYPING SPEEDS!

Oh and, considering I haven't used Excel or Word for anything other than pissfarting around at home, oh and the fact that I've never been taught how to use the programs either, I scored 80% on my "do you know how to use word?" test, and 66% on my "excel is a fucking bitch of a program, so lets test you on it" test.

I am teh awesomes but where the fuck are the job offers? Grr!

You know what's hilarious though? If they could see the way that I type online, and the shit that makes no sense coming out of my fingers and onto the keyboard and into your IM windows, they'd never give me a job. It seems like my brain forgets what punctuation, spelling and grammar are all about! The typos made are hilarious and sometimes you need a code to decipher exactly wtf I'm talking about.

I fucking hate christmas

Every year, I say I hate Christmas, and every year, without fail, everyone says "aww Tan, don't be a scrooge, stop your bah! humbugging!" well you know what? Anyone that says that to me this year is going to get a fucking great big punch in the face and likely to get stabbed in the eyes with pointy christmas decorations.

My daughter will be at her father's this year, which isn't all that bad, at least, it wouldn't be if I could reason with him and try and organize some timeshare. That probably won't happen though. I hate talking to him as it is, and even just to ask him something as simple as "Hey, you think that we could share B for christmas this year?" will be too much to fucking ask. He didn't bat an eye at having her over mother's day remember? And asking him to get her to call me (I had to ask him, coz there was no way he would've suggested her calling me) was a big drama. Oh and, I didn't even get a phone call on my birthday - wow, why am I NOT fucking surprised?

So I have a cry, coz she's not with me. But I take solace in knowing that I can spend time with the rest of my family. Right? Wrong.

This year, they've all fucking decided that they want to go to Swan Hill to celebrate christmas up at my sister-in-law's mother's place. For FUCKS SAKE. They know that I have an aversion to travelling, especially if it means I can't come home at night. Yeah it sounds like I'm being a sooky little princess, but I really REALLY fucking hate not being home. I still feel strange sleeping at EvilMe's house, and that's only 20 minutes from here.

Now, close your eyes, and picture this - (oh wait, you can't read what I'm typing if you do.. open your eyes.. OPEN THEM DAMNIT! There, that's better) So, picture me, my two brothers, my parents, sister-in-law, her mum and brother, all cramped into a tiny little 3 bedroom unit. At christmastime. In the heat. With no airconditioning. After a long fucking drive from shitty St Albans to sunny Swan Hill.

I love spending time with my family, especially when I know I can get away from them at the end of the day. But anyone that knows me, and knows my family, knows that this is a very fucking bad idea. Christmas always ends up with someone arguing over something stupid - and THEY WANT TO DRIVE ME THERE. Which means, I have no way to escape them if there is an argument, and like I said, there usually is, and it usually always involves me and some member of my family.

Not that I'm argumentative or anything.. much.

But fucking hell. I gave a flat out "No. I'm not coming to Swan Hill for Christmas" just before, and I got made out to be the most fucking awful person in the world. I want to be with my family, close to home, where I should be, JUST IN CASE B's dad decides that maybe, JUST MAYBE, he might send her home early and I get to have her on Christmas Day.

All I need now is for EvilMe to say that he's working/going somewhere/doing something else for christmas, and my point of "Christmas fucking sucks asses thru a straw three times a day and I don't give a fuck what you say" will be proven, and anyone that DARES to say otherwise will likely suffer extreme looks of "I would gladly kill you right now if I knew that I could get away with it" and feel the wrath of my extreme christmas hatred aimed in their general direction.

Bah. Fucking. Humbug.