Okay, so the flowers are nearly dead outside in their pots (thanks IGA for selling me dodgy plants.. yeah it's their fault not mine i didn't kill them.. serious!) but I bought more, and I'm keeping them inside for now just until they're ready to plant in my back yard.
Anyway, today I decided to go out and use my new $15 whipper snipper Bunnings Bargain.
I managed to kill it in under 5 minutes.
I rule!
In the 5 minutes it took me to kill my bargain snipper, I managed to lose the spring that makes the circle thing with the wire that cuts the bits and go bouncy bouncy, make the whole fucking bottom bit fall off and go skidding across the back yard, whack a couple of dozen weeds and clip my forehead with some flying shrapnel (I now have a nice big red welt on my forehead which EvilMe kissed better, but it's still sore).
I got my $15 dollars worth of backyard entertainment (heheh this thing is originally worth $90, I did pretty well).
And yes, I know that I've not updated all week and I've been slack. This would be because I've been working long shifts all week since just after the easter break. Starting at 10am and finishing at 8pm is not my fucking friend, let me tell you.
Which reminds me, I need to do my timesheet! Gah! (okay, I just opened the link for it, watch me forget to do it).
How many days has it been since I updated? 13? Yeah.. something like that.. hmm.. should I do a slideshow of 13 Daily Urbans for Jay? Yeah I probably should.. So here, my dear, is a fortnights of .. dum da daaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah
Jay's Daily (erp.. a fortnight's worth of daily's at least..) Urbannnnnnnnnn!
B and I were talking about RHCP songs and B says "I really like the Emu Song" and I had no idea what the hell she was talking about. I thought she might've been talking about the song "Walkabout" which mentions aboriginals and boomerangs and going on a walkabout but nothing about Emus.. and then I realised that Walkabout isn't on the greatest hits cd. So I asked her to play the song for me, and so she did. Track 2, Greatest hits. Suck My Kiss.
So you might be wondering wtf? They don't sing about emus in this song. Yeah well, they don't. Unless you're 8. And then the lyrics "What I got you gotta get it put it in you" get turned into "What I got you gotta give it to an emu" and now I can't sing this song without changing the lyrics to the emu lyrics. Far out. It's one of my favorite songs, and it's been ruined.. BY HILARITY!
You know what's funny? All these years I've had the absolute omg hots for Anthony Kiedis (the singer) and now I look back and I look at the band now and realise that OH MY FUCKING GOD BUT JOHN FRUSCIANTE IS FUCKING SEX ON LEGS. OKay I'll relax now. But he is. He's hot. Oh fuck.. I need to sit my ass in a bucket of ice cold water I think and cool my hormones down. That's where they are yeah? Somewhere in the pantal region.
Okay, anyway, time for Jay's Daily Urban (Oh yeah, I should ring her mum tomorrow and see how she's doing.. someone remind me.. oh and THANKS A FUCKING LOT for reminding me to upload the videos. You're all as friggen lazy as I am, smelly buggers. Oh and I forgot to blog yesterday, thanks.. i blame you all for the heat and the blog and the yeah okay I'll shutup now..
Okay, get this, did I not just say that I didn't blog yesterday, and no one reminded me that I had to do it? or that I had to upload videos or anything like that? Yeah. My friends are brilliant check this out -
This conversation between myself and alalagator happened JUST AS I HIT PUBLISH ON MY FUCKING BLOG.
Emma - ¢ h î ħ ï ř ő - Never frown, even when you are sad, because you don't know who is falling in love with your smile. says: you didnt write your daily blog for jay yesterday slackarse muppet says: I KNOW Emma - ¢ h î ħ ï ř ő - Never frown, even when you are sad, because you don't know who is falling in love with your smile. says: OR today! muppet says: but i was hot and shitty and i just blogged now lol Emma - ¢ h î ħ ï ř ő - Never frown, even when you are sad, because you don't know who is falling in love with your smile. says: oh lol muppet says: fuck off i just finished blogging why you think i haven't been replying straight away? ahahahah rolled Emma - ¢ h î ħ ï ř ő - Never frown, even when you are sad, because you don't know who is falling in love with your smile. says: fuck off (with NO added giraffe) muppet says: yeah GET FUCKED with added giraffe just for your viewing pleasure actually, i am gonna fuck off lol i'm tired and hot and i wanna go to bed
So now, I'm going to bed, and just to be a smartass, I'm going to travel back in time via Bloggerspace and make this post my Sunday post just coz I can so ner ner fucking ner. Oh shit wait..
and now..
it's time..
forrrrrr
JAY'S
DAILY
URBANNNNNNNNNNNNN
ps: the whole fucking time I was writing this blog, I had Emmah telling me to hurry up coz she needed to pee.
Tough luck I'm taking my time just to piss you off ner :D
The past few weeks have been hectic, and yeah, that's what I always say - 90% of the time it's actually true though, the other 10% is artistic license.. well it IS my blog afterall.. and it just means that I've been lazy and haven't updated. This time round, I seriously have been busy.
Busy being happy.
Aww.
*hands you all a bucket*
B's been home, and EvilMe has been on annual leave for the past 2 weeks, and domestic life settled into it's own little crazy routine. Ever noticed that when EvilMe is here, I'm less likely to be online? Well, we overcame that (somewhat) by transporting his omfg awesomely crazy cool pc here, only, I kept getting sidetracked by him sitting next to me and would start doing something, only to forget wtf it was that I'd started. I guess that's why Jay gave me this:
Sums me up perfectly actually. What you don't realise is just now, while I was looking for that picture, I did a search for it because I couldn't find it on my harddrive, only to realise 15 minutes later that I was actually searching for it to go on my blog. Oops. I also had an icypole while I was looking, went to the toilet, emailed EvilMe, and told a stupid story on irc, all whilst completely forgetting that I was meant to be blogging. Anyhooz, back to my stories.
I went to meet EvilMe's dad and family last week. We went and stayed in a pretty little town called Violet Town, which is just under 2 hours drive from Melb, heading out to Shepparton. (If anyone didn't know this, it's where the band Killing Heidi are originally from). http://www.whereis.com.au says that the trip is 179.8kms from my place, and it should take 1hr 54mins to get there. I made it with 9 minutes to spare. Shut up Jay, I wasn't speeding!
I'm not sure if EvilMe noticed, but I was so fucking stressed out - would his dad like me? how bout the rest of his family? OMG drama llama right? The morning we were leaving, I felt like crap. Dunno why, because as soon as we got there, I was made to feel as if I'd been a part of the family forever. I did suffer the parental inquisition though - but that's normal. Within minutes of walking in, EvilMe's dad set himself to "Embarass my Eldest Child" mode and promptly showed me baby pics. Aww man, my boyfriend was one gorgeous little kid - which isn't surprising considering he's like omg so fucking hot now! I won't tell you what I saw, coz he'll probably read this and then strangle me, but lets just say he was really cute and I said "aww yay!" lots.
I'm not so good at sleeping at other people's houses, so the first night was really hard for me. I tossed and turned and eventually just gave up and went outside for a smoke. It's gorgeous there at night - you can actually see stars! I had the most romantic night out there, looking at the stars with EvilMe and trying to figure out their names. We're both pretty hopeless though, so there's now stars called Fred, Bob and AssButts. I can honestly say that standing out there, looking at the stars and hugging my boyfriend is one of the happiest moments of my life. It might only be a little thing, but I saw a side of EvilMe that I hadn't previously. I can't explain it, and even if I could, I don't think that I want to. It was good, leave it at that!
I got to drive a tractor.. well, really, I sat in a broken down tractor and made vroom vroom noises whilst EvilMe took pics.
Dude, they have a tractor. Do you know how much fun it was trying to not kill myself getting off that thing? Nevermind the fact that once EvilMe had taken the photo, he wandered off while I scratched my head and went "Well, fuck me, what do I do now?" I eventually got off with little fuss. The tractor is still there and in one piece. Thank thea heavens I didn't start it up, otherwise I'd have ended up in a ditch.
B loved it there too, and didn't want to go home. She said quite plainly that she couldn't live in the country "I'm allergic to bug bites, and there's too many bugs in the country" but she loved it anyway. I think it was a combination of the fact that she got to go swimming every day we were there, EvilMe's youngest sister taking her under her wing, and not having to clean her bedroom, were all deciding factors in the "I really like it here, let's stay longer!" Unfortunately, though, we couldn't, and headed home 2 days later. It was kind of sad too, I really enjoyed being with EvilMe's family, and who knows when we'll get up there to see them again, but hopefully it won't be too far away.
On the way home, we stopped off in Puckapunyal at the Tank Museum. Coz EvilMe likes Tanks. Yep, that's the only reason we went. Coz he likes tanks and wanted to look at them. We even got our very own special little pass to get into the base at Pucka. Security is tight. Not. They let me in.
I'll admit, I wanted to go too just because I'm a sticky beak and I guess I'll never see a real tank close up. Unfortunately (or actually, luckily) we weren't allowed to climb on the tanks (one of us.. probably me.. would've stacked head first off the side and killed themselves probably) so we don't have any "look at me I'm driving a tank" photos, but we do have a pic of B sitting inside a turret. I think it's a turret. It's that thing that they sit in and have machine guns and go ratatatatatatat blam at the enemy dudes. That's a turret right?
I also got to meet sahm (Deanna), my LiveJournal buddy. She was OMG so much fun. We sat down at a little cafe in Fitzroy street (after numerous fuckups on my part actually getting myself out of the house!), drank coffee/tea and talked shit for a few hours. Every single one of you know what an antisocial shithead I am, so it was nice to actually get out and meet someone I talk to eleventy billion times a day on the internet. OKay, maybe not that many times a day, but still, plenty! She's even more awesome than I imagined - don't get me wrong, I always thought she WAS awesome, just actually meeting her in person.. wow. She also gives the best hugs! Come back to melbourne soon Dee so I can get another hug! Oh and, remind me, I have to tell you a funny, but that's just for between me and you!
Whilst here it doesn't sound like much has been happening, it's been full on. I got a taste of what it's going to be like when EvilMe moves in with me at the end of his lease (this is definitely going to go ahead) and he got to suffer the trauma of living with me and B - who, I might add, was actually pretty well behaved!
And, to be honest, I can't wait. Living with someone, as a partner, wasn't something I was sure I'd be able to do again, but now, I know that I can. And I can't wait.
B has the day off today (stupid teachers ruining my daytime sleeps), so I had to go and collect her from my parents place after work this morning. Mum and dad were both being idiots, but I only managed to capture my father being an absolute goose.
I was discussing *SERIOUS* stuff with Mum (we were talking about chocolate cake) and Dad was pottering around in the background, occasionally snickering to himself. We're used to this, so generally we just ignore him. He started blathering on about how he can't stir his coffee, boo hoo woe is dad, poor dad, can't have coffee till it gets stirred, wanna have coffee, make coffee stirred now please blah blah blah and so on and so forth. So Mum tells me to grab a teaspoon for him and pass it to him, because obviously he's retarded and can't do it himself. So I grab the teaspoon out of the drawer and turn to him...
This is why he couldn't stir his coffee:
If I didn't look EXACTLY LIKE HIM I would swear that I was adopted.
I absolutely love an Irish accent, there's just something about it that's awesome to listen to. Prank calls made by this little 8 year old Irish girl named Becky had me in absolute fits. Just listen - you won't regret it.
I need a witch doctor to sort out my fucking microwave. It's posessed. Yes, I recently bought a new microwave and even this one is fucked.
So I'm sitting at my puter as usual, when AGAIN my NEW microwave turns itself on. No. I'm not going insane. I'm dead set serious.
I gave the old posessed microwave to EvilMe and he's not had a problem with it since he got it, but I can guarantee that if he brought it back here, and plugged it back in, sitting it where it originally was, it'll fucking turn itself on. Just like this one.
I have no idea why it's happening. EvilMe probably thinks I'm hallucinating, but I'm NOT! What sucks the most is this only fucking happens when I'm home by myself, so I can't even get B to vouch for me. I even tried to film it with my phone (woot for camera phones right? wrong..) as soon as I started the cam, my fone died. Flat battery.
It's working again now - but I give up. When it comes to electrical appliances, I'm just not meant to own any. Even my kettle is playing funny buggers. I turn that on, it turns itself off. That's normal right? Yeah - when the water's boiled. This just turns off mid boil.
I'm going insane. I think I already am. Quick, call the witch doctor!
Blame DogWomble for this song. He linked me to it.
Speedy Bubbles